Grace-Full Weight Loss

Tai Chi and Me

2010-07-22T23:34:00.000-06:00

I did 30 minutes of Tai Chi today, and I'm pleasantly surprised that my back is feeling better. I've had lower back problems since I was a youth when I first injured my back. I pulled some lower back muscles again this past Tuesday doing a simple task...reaching down to get the nightlight out of the outlet in my child's room. I didn't pull it as severely as I have on previous occasions, but it still incapacitated me for the most part, on the second day particularly. I've felt better today in general since my back has had sufficient rest and I had been using my Better Binder to support my back and weak abs (they split during my 4th pregnancy). I was able to do so much more today, but I still needed to lay down a few times to rest my muscles so they wouldn't rebel on me. I felt impressed and motivated that I should try out my new DVD: Tai Chi Flow for EveryBody. I've had it for a few weeks, and I just seemed too busy to do it. Well, today was the day to try it. I went into it telling myself that I would be cautious and listen to my body. Gratefully, Tai Chi is slow moving and easy on every part of the body. There was a couple of movements that I was extremely gentle with or altered for by back.

I love Carolyn Cooper's explanation of how Tai Chi is connected to our body's different energy systems. I came away from my experience feeling much stronger and looser in my back. I didn't feel so tight and in pain. I love learning about and enacting changes to my energy systems!

If you're looking for a non-heavy breathing, seemingly light workout for your muscles and mind, I highly recommend Tai Chi. I'll try and report back here my experiences and how it's helped me.

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Other things I've done today:

10 Kegel exercises - I need to remember this simple thing every day
Drank 4 cups of green smoothie and lots of water
Ate lots of yummy, healthy Watermelon
Hugged my kids
Updated my blogs
Had a few minutes of quiet time
Read Fablehaven - book 1
Kissed my husband and went on a date
Stayed up insanely late trying to get my two-year old to get him to sleep

Summer

2010-07-22T15:58:00.000-06:00

What I love about summer...

...eating cold watermelon and watching my kids let it drip down their chins
...all the summer fruits to eat and preserve
...watching the kids run through the sprinklers
...hearing my kids' squeals of absolute joy
...long summer nights where the sun finally goes down after nine
...watching the plants in my garden thrive
...picking raspberries from my own bushes
...making trips to the library with my kids for books to keep us occupied on really hot days
...my a/c that keeps us cool and comfortable
...day trips with my family to enjoy places outside of home
...walking in my home after being on one of those day trips and lounging around until dinner time
...learning new things with the children and not being on a schedule imposed by others
...holding hands and watching the sun set with my sweetheart
...relaxing under the stars and enjoying a quiet evening after the kids go to bed
...seeing my kids asleep after an exhaustingly fun day and know they'll be ready for it all again tomorrow

I posted the above on my family blog, but I thought it would be fun to share here too. I find it difficult some summer days to get up and get going because of the heat. Doing exercise, for me, is best when the sun isn't up yet or has just gone down. I tend to stay close to home when I exercise, but being indoors makes me feel cooped up. I love to be able to see what is outside of my own walls. What place(s) have you found that best suits your exercising outside of your house? Do you have an exercise partner that goes with you? How do you keep up your exercise routines in the heat?

Five Gratefuls

2010-07-21T20:14:00.000-06:00

Because I need to remind myself often of what I'm grateful for to stay positive and put my situation in perspective, I'm sharing a few with you here:

1) I am grateful that God gave me an amazing body that can heal itself when I allow it to.
2) I am grateful that my body is very forgiving.
3) I am grateful that I have a strong body and spirit.
4) I am grateful that I have the power, with God's help, to break the chains of my addictions.
5) I am grateful for the support system of people who love me and cheer me on, no matter what!

Still plugging along

2010-04-19T20:13:00.000-06:00

I managed to gain pounds back. I let it really get to me for a while, but I'm again in the mindset of literally letting it all go. I am slender, fit, trim, and active!!!!

I lost 2 pounds since last Wednesday. I went walking the last 4 days, not including today, and boy do my calves hurt. I like having the hills in my neighborhood for an extra challenge, so I'll push through the pain (within reason!) and keep going. I'm so excited for the future and to have the body I truly want to have!

Ick

2010-02-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

I've made some not so good choices this week in my eating. I only went walked on Monday morning. I've been busy, busy with my kids and our homeschool activities (I'm not sitting down all day), but I could use more exercise nonetheless.

My stomach is not feeling well today. I'm not sure if it's a "bug" or just something I ate yesterday. I'm hoping whatever is causing it is short-lived.

On a good note, my sister-in-law should be having her first baby today or tomorrow. They're inducing her due to her doctor's recommendation, but the baby will be here soon. We haven't had a new baby in the family since my youngest was born about 26 months ago. I'm excited for her and her husband!

Day 5

2010-02-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

I didn't walk Thursday or Friday. I just couldn't get myself to do it. I think my body is fighting a cold. I've been so tired lately...and no, I'm not pregnant. :D I'm still going to keep trying even if I need to take small steps at a time. I'm getting nutritious foods in my body for the most part. I need to work on my water intake. My sweetheart, David, makes sure I get a green smoothie every day. That's 3-4 cups of liquid a day at least. I do drink water throughout the day, but usually only when I'm thirsty. I need to change that and step it up a bit. My no-refined sugar diet is still going strong.

Walked: 28 minutes
Ran: 2 minutes

I walked outside today near my home. It was a bit chilly, but the sun was shining. It was beautiful! Oh, and there's nothing like listening to her while walking. ;)

I'm grateful to be exercising again. That's been a huge hurdle I just had to jump over.

Tired

2010-02-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired today, but I still got on the treadmill this morning. I did 16 minutes of walking and 2 minutes of running. I'm going to bed before 10pm tonight so I can actually accomplish something tomorrow, including walking/running...that's my commitment to myself today...one step at a time, right?

A Grateful Moment

2010-02-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

I finally got on the treadmill today. I walked about 16 minutes on it, and I ran for 2 of them. It felt so good! I was more focused and happy today. I NEED to do it more often and for longer too. I would have walked longer, except that the bridges of my feet were hurting abnormally. I'm going to try wearing my orthotics tomorrow to see if it will help. I certainly don't need stress fractures or injured feet. The knee issue was more than enough.

My oldest 2 girls were watching me pretty much the whole time. I normally would have been so self-conscious, but I didn't even care this time. They wanted to try it, but I told them they could go on a walk together instead. They were okay with that choice and went on a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood.

I just about jumped in the shower this morning instead of walking. The Spirit whispered that I should try walking/running first. If I hadn't done it, I would have missed out on some exercise and an opportunity to be an example to my girls. I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the inspiration to do this one little thing for myself today. It impacted more than just me!

Another good quote

2010-02-16T10:45:00.002-07:00

"Of all the initiatives people can take who feel a devastating wrong has made them miserable, one stands above all others in effectiveness. It is actually seeking forgiveness for having refused to forgive."
The Arbinger Institute

I believe this applies not only to forgiving others, but ourselves! Stop beating yourself up, forgive, and move forward with confidence that you can be whole again.

Recipe for a healthy holiday treat!

2009-12-11T14:47:00.001-07:00

I'm here still...really, I am! I haven't gone back to my old sugar-eating habits, in fact, I've been trying to find "candy" made with alternative natural sweeteners. I figure you all health-conscious people you like to have an alternative to high-fat, highly-sweet holiday candy. Try them! Super easy!

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This recipe is an adaptation from the original by Bryanna Clark Grogan. I don't know why she calls the recipe Bryanna's Carob Fudge. It certainly isn't fudge. It is rich however, and very dark chocolate-flavored. I was just going to call them dessert balls, but my sweet friend, Julia gave me a new name for them. Thanks, Julia! You could use all raw ingredients and impress your raw-food friends or use maple syrup instead and call them vegan! This is the altered recipe for the dessert I made last night for the Christmas Party with my closest friends:

Chocolate Almond-Coconut Balls

Chocolate Mixture:
1/2 c. each:
Peanut Butter (I used fresh ground)
Honey*
Cocoa Powder
Chopped Almonds*
Sesame Seeds
1/4 c. Quick Oats

Used a large spoon or your hands to mix it together.

Rolling Mixture:
1/4 cup Chopped Almonds*
1/4 cup Unsweetened Shredded Coconut*
2 Tbsp. Powdered Sucanat* (powdered in the blender)

Mix above ingredients in a separate bowl. Wet your hands a little then take small pieces of the chocolate mixture and roll into balls. Roll into rolling mixture. Place on plate and serve.

The balls would be a little sweeter if you used maple syrup instead of honey and almond butter instead of peanut butter. Using almond butter would make it more almond-flavored too! Substituting maple syrup for the honey will make it vegan as well. The original recipe called for carob powder, but I like the cocoa better...not as bitter. You could put some coconut inside the ball mixture too if you wanted.

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* I've been asked where to purchase items like sucanat and unsweetened shredded coconut. My answer is: from a health food store or food co-op. Good Earth, Whole Foods, and Kitchen Kneads are in my area in Utah. Azure Standard does monthly orders with local drop points. To be raw, all ingredients need to be truly raw, not just uncooked by you. To get real raw almonds you need to purchase them through a reliable source and/or food co-op that guarantees the almonds have not been heated.

Original recipe found at: VegSource.com

Update and Help Karsen

2009-10-23T09:29:00.000-06:00

I've been MIA on this blog. I've not been in a good place emotionally. That's why I choose not to write about myself and my struggles. I've been emotionally eating too, so I've been fluctuating up and down about 7 pounds from my lowest of 182. I've been in a better mindset the last few days, and I really don't want to give up. Avoiding my sugar addiction has been one of the biggest reasons why I haven't gained everything back and more. I can't go back!

So anyway, I wanted to share this here too. It's on my personal blog too, so sorry if you've read it already. :) I have been deeply touched by the story of Karsen Mery. His mother, Nicole, was my up-line for Mary Kay when I was considering selling the products myself (why I'm not is a long story that I may tell someday, but it has nothing to do with the people or company). Nicole is a doll, and so sweet! When I heard of her son being injured in a lawnmower accident I was so sad! Then when I found out the extent of his injuries, I wanted to just cry for her and her baby! Reading her updates has amazed and inspired me. Heavenly Father has truly blessed this family for good, even when it seems there wasn't good to be had in such a situation.

My husband has been unemployed until recently, but I've wanted to help Nicole and her family somehow, besides prayers of course! So, I'm holding an Usborne Book eShow (online catalog party) and will give all profits to Karsen's trust fund to help pay for surgeries and such. (It's my understanding that Nicole and her husband both are self-employed which means they are paying out of pocket for Karsen's medical expenses.)

Click here to start browsing or, continue reading for some of my family's favorites from Usborne. The eShow ends October 28th!

If you know nothing about Usborne books, well, you're in for a treat! I've had many books bought and used by my kids, but the Usborne books have been by far their overall favorites. The books are so colorful and fun! The illustrations are gorgeous and engaging. The books are quality made as well!

My baby adores the touch and feel books, like:

That's Not My Bear

That's Not My Frog

Find the Duck
Many of the baby books have "find the duck" activities on every page. In the case of the touch and feel "Not My..." series, there's a mouse instead of a duck.

Even the phonics books have "find the duck." They do come individually too, not just in a set!

Library Phonics Readers

My girls all love the princess, fairy, and girly books!

Fairy Cooking

Sticker Dolly Dressing Dolls

Library Fabulous Fiction Set

How to Draw Princesses and Ballerinas

Illustrated Fairy Tales

Fairy Things to Make and Do Kid Kit

My oldest son (he's 6) loves books like:

Usborne Illustrated Stories for Boys

Big Cats, Bugs, Dinosaurs, Knights, and Whales and Dolphins

The Butterfly, 1001 Bugs to Spot, In the Pond, and Under the Ground

The Great Dinosaur Search

We love these books for our school. There are many combined volumes that save you money as well as have the references in one spot!

Illustrated Dictionary of Science
This is a combined volume, and the library binding is worth the extra money! The concepts taught in this book are easy to understand without being boring like a textbook!

Understanding Your Body

See Inside Your Body

And there aren't just books, but kid kits to go with the books to make the book more interactive and fun:

Many of the informational books are also Internet Linked. Usborne goes through a lot of trouble to ensure that the websites they link to are safe and about the topic they are referencing.

Again, ALL PROFIT from this eShow will be donated to the Karsen Mery Trust Fund. If you'd like to read more about this amazing, strong little boy and his family, you can find updates here: http://karsenmery.blogspot.com. If you're interested, there is a 5K run on October 24th to benefit this family as well, you can find details here: http://www.runkarsenrun.com

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You are invited to an Usborne Books eShow to explore the world of Usborne Books. A child's interest in reading and learning is stimulated by the lavish illustrations and informative content. There are over 1300 bright, colorful and fun titles covering activities, puzzles and a wide range of subjects for children of all ages.

Now is a great time to get Christmas gifts out of the way and benefit someone else in the process! Please send this to others you know as well! All orders will be shipped to your home through Usborne--the books kids love to read!

Usborne Book eShow
Hostess: Brandi Palmer
Where:http://www.ubah.com/HOS149882
When: Today thru Wednesday, 10/28/2009 11:59:00 PM

Everyone is welcome, so invite a friend!

It's a rewarding experience when a child opens a book and discovers the magic of reading.

Woohoo!

2009-08-13T17:43:00.002-06:00

I just had to share that I'm down another 2 pounds from last week! I'm at 182! Yay!

Long time...

2009-08-03T22:08:00.003-06:00

Warning, rambling, tired thoughts...

I hit 185...finally! Down one from several months of the same number on the scale. I haven't been below the 186 mark until yesterday morning. I've been struggling with exhaustion and total, crazy, busyness these past few weeks. I may have taken on more than I can fit in. I've been busy, a lot, and yet, I feel like I accomplish little more than barely keeping up with my normal household duties.

I have been MIA here quite a bit. My family and other responsibilities have taken priority over my writing. Maybe it's just I'm avoiding it because I haven't made the progress I'd wanted to by now. Yeah, that's probably it! Either way, I'm still keeping myself from falling back into all of my old patterns.

My right knee is more flexible again, and I'd like to take walks around my neighborhood or ride the street bike. Now, if I can get my baby to sleep more (come on teeth, come through already!), I'll get more sleep and do just that!

Still here

2009-07-08T20:45:00.003-06:00

I haven't fallen off the bandwagon, although I haven't really been having weight-loss either. My quietness has a reason. I've taken on a lot of responsibilities and now I have a bad headcold. I'm eating raw foods and making a healing herbal tea to help get rid of the cold faster. My knee is still healing, and I'm walking more normally. I still have pain when I try to stand up straight because it puts more pressure on my knee than it can handle. Thank goodness for my knee brace when I need it.

I'm still attending my support group. We attended the temple last week. It was just what I needed. We'll be doing that once a month, and I'm so excited!

I hope all of you are finding success in your own efforts to improve your health!

Perfectionism and True Success

2009-05-21T13:23:00.009-06:00

We had a wonderful TLC (The Lasting Change) meeting on Thursday. It was very uplifting and encouraging. Something I've been awakened to, this week in particular, is that it's okay to not appear perfect to others. I've always known it, but it's hard to admit it to myself and then to others. I push the thought away instead of letting it change my heart and mind. Not any more!

In our discussion on Thursday, we talked about this topic a bit. We discussed how some people only write or show their perfect self which can be misleading in a way. I know that I tend to only write on my blog about my successes and not my struggles. It's not just because of my perfectionism, however, even if it has been a one of the reasons in the past. I believe that focusing on my struggles has been a detriment to me. Others would likely see my struggles as me being just like everyone else...a non-perfect person. I'm the first one to admit I am NOT perfect. I want to show my best self though, but sometimes my pride gets in the way. Even though my focus with this blog is not to appear perfect, I am going to focus on the positive since it helps me stay that way!

I can never be perfect on my own. The last few months have opened my eyes to that fact. I no longer can gloss over my knowledge that the only way to be perfect is through my Savior, Jesus Christ. I need to allow Him to work in my life instead of working so hard to do it all by myself. I've never been truly successful without Him, and I never will be. My dependence upon Him needs to be complete and total. If I have power or accomplish anything in this life, it is because of the Lord. He has given me everything, literally. I acknowledge my hand in my failures and His hand in my successes. He is the only way to true, lasting success, and I'm grateful that He continues to help me succeed!

186 today!

2009-05-05T22:47:00.002-06:00

Yay! I'm still going down! Every day I'm working out just moving around. My knee is still healing. I'm walking better, and can actually stretch it out all the way. It can't take a lot of weight yet, but it's an improvement! Icing my knee has been helping, although I like the feeling of the heat better. I like taking a nice hot bath, but it was recommended that I follow up with ice.

I'm grateful for the beautiful Spring weather we're having in Utah. I look at the weeds in my flower beds and cringe though. I'm going to try and get some weeding done, although I'll be bending over while sitting on a short stool. I won't do too much at once, for the sake of my back. :)

Prayer of Gratitude

2009-04-28T11:49:00.007-06:00

I went to a wonderful conference this weekend for natural-minded moms. I learned so much, and really enjoyed all of the speakers, including Leslie Householder. I bought a book called Meridian Health by Cliff Dunston D.L. It's been very interesting and informative. One of the things that hit me in regards to health is the prayer of gratitude he writes about in his efforts to lose 70 pounds.

"Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for the burden of my fat for it being there to nurture me, to keep me warm, to help me float, it helped me to hide, to disconnect, to understand vain regret, to help me understand the difference between low self-esteem and God given self-worth, to help me understand negative feelings about myself, to help me understand obsessive/compulsive behavior, to help me overcome worry and depression, and to help protect me. And now I give permission to the excess weight to leave because it has served its purpose. I am grateful for all the knowledge and experience that I have gained. I delight, Oh Lord, in Thy ways. I am grateful for how it brought me closer to Thee and how it helped me recognize Thy hand in so many ways. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen" (Meridian Health, Dunston, Cliff. (C)2009, p117).

Gratitude is one of the highest forms of worship. I have found it really hard to be grateful for being fat all my life; however, that's the part of me that wants to still be a victim. Instead of taking charge of my life with the Lord's help, I let myself be the victim of my past. Well, not anymore! I have taken charge of my thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes... I am grateful for my fat and the things it has taught me. I have allowed it to serve its purpose, and I have let it go!

Even though being grateful for fat seems lame or unreasonable, try it anyway. I promise it will help you let go of the weight and move on. Don't rely solely upon the mindset that only a healthy diet and exercise will get you there, because although it's a huge step in the right direction, it's just the beginning. When you change your thoughts you change your life. Admit you rely upon God to help you, and He will be there. Showing Him gratitude for this weight because it has taught you something about yourself and others will help you to let it go...I promise!

Check-in

2009-04-22T22:32:00.003-06:00

A quick note to say I hit 189 yesterday! Yay! I'm excited for when I can exercise more and possibly lose faster!

Knee Update

2009-04-20T17:23:00.006-06:00

I'm still sore in the knee and using at least one crutch much of the time (I get tired easily hobbling around). Boy did I take for granted being able to walk! I'm looking at walking the mile part of the Race for the Cure, however, I am going to play it safe if it looks like my knee can't handle that much walking. I will be satisfied with cheering my friends on too. I'm thinking positively though, and picturing me walking with my friends that beautiful Mother's Day weekend. As the day draws closer, I'll assess my needs and abilities so as to not mess up my knee more or chance a worse injury. No matter what, I'm excited to be able to be there to experience the positive atmosphere and energy radiating from so many people!

As for my scale numbers, I have been maintaining around 190. This knee thing sure has kept me out of the kitchen for the most part because I can't stand long to fix food without my left hip giving me grief. I'm so grateful for fresh strawberry and grape season! It's helped me keep sweet cravings down (if you get a sweet craving, your brain is telling you to eat fruit!). I'm also grateful that there's an end to this, and that there is something good in it! I'll never take my knees for granted again!

19 Rules of Prosperity FREE download

Plans thwarted or just delayed?

2009-04-07T12:47:00.006-06:00

I injured my knee yesterday morning when I went to go walking with my friend, Kim. We arrived at the church gym, turned on all the lights, and then we began to stretch out. I was on the floor and I began doing a butterfly with my legs, but I bent my right knee little too far and POP, my kneecap popped out again. I was even wearing my knee brace which doesn't usually let me bend it very far. So I was in pain on the floor while trying to figure out how to pop my knee cap back into place again. Kim brought me a chair so I could push myself off of the floor and turn around to support myself on the table that someone had left on the sidelines of the gym (thank you!). I managed to pop my knee cap again, into what I thought was the right place, but it hurt so bad still, almost worse than the first popping. I couldn't put pressure on it. I prayed for guidance. I'd been inspired before with how to fix it, but what came to my mind didn't work. My knee cap looks and acts like it's in the correct position, so I must have pulled the ligaments. I'm still in a lot of pain, and thanks to my husband and my in-laws, I have crutches to hobble around with. My sweetheart, David, took the day off yesterday to help me out. If he hadn't, I'm not sure I would have happily survived yesterday.

On top of having my injury, my two littlest ones have been throwing up this weekend, so there was a ton of laundry to do, even after doing puke wash on Sunday. I couldn't, and still can't, go up and down the stairs, so David did all the laundry for me. He even got the kids to put their clothes away. He's awesome! So far, my baby is the only one still throwing up (he hasn't since early this morning though...praying it stays that way), but he's showing signs of still feeling ill. He's slept most of the morning, but he doesn't have a fever...he's just really tired. He wakes up every 20-30 minutes to quietly sit or cuddle, but then he's out again. He had a rough night last night, but I didn't think it was that bad. This is so not like him. I think he has an earache too because after trying all we could to comfort him (cuddling, nursing, diaper change, bouncing, tylenol, teething gel [he's getting molars]), he was still screaming, that is, until I put some drops of warm breastmilk in his ear. He stopped screaming within a minute and hasn't complained about it since. He's decided to sleep instead.

Okay, I rambled on, and on there... So I'm trying to decide what to do about my exercise. I know I need to rest my knee and take care of it, otherwise no exercise program can make up for ruining my knee more. I'm eating well still. In fact, I probably eat better than normal since I have to ask for help to get the food. I've mostly stayed out of the kitchen.

Every once in a while I feel a little discouraged that this happened. I was finally back to exercising again! I'm a bit sad that I can't continue training to run part of the 5K in May. My plan all along was to do my best to run it, but I would be walking it at least. So, that's still my plan...to walk the 5K.

I'm also trying to be more upbeat instead of discouraged. I know that the changes I'm making are HUGE, and it will only thwart the plan of the adversary if I make them. So, while I try to find the good in this experience, I will envision myself walking with a healthy, strong knee at the 5K. I need lots of prayers to help that vision to come to fruition, and any positive energy you can send my way, please do! I'll get through this as I move forward with faith to a better, whole me!

Running again!

2009-03-30T22:24:00.009-06:00

I finally did it, and started running again today...by myself. It felt so good! Okay, not the by myself part, but the running part. In reality, I walked mostly, but I ran for over a minute three times. That's progress from where I was in December (e.g. no running at all!). I haven't went walking or running for about 6 weeks now. My kids were sick for several weeks, then I got a mild version of what they had (thank goodness it was mild!). Then I got in the habit of not going to bed at a decent hour, getting up early, etc... It's so easy to slip back into old habits! I even tried the eliptical during those 6 weeks, but I just didn't like it. It also broke thanks to a manufacturer's defect, so it was out of commission for several weeks. Even if I had liked it, I couldn't have used it. My sweetheart did get it fixed a weekend ago, so now he has something to exercise on...I have to mention that I'm so proud of my husband, David. He's lost almost 60 pounds since April of last year (2008). He's been running on the eliptical for about an hour each time. It's been wonderful to be losing unwanted baggage together! We both look and feel better...which helps me feel more like a lovable woman instead of a...well, I'm not going there anymore!

My weight has been around the same number on the scale for about a week or so. I have managed to still go down a pound or so every week or two, but it's not what I want to see happening. I want to see about two pounds per week! I'm going to work harder to get myself back where I need to be. I'm so glad to be fitting into size 16 dresses and 18 pants though. Almost all of my clothes hang on me. I finally bought a pair of pants that fit me well, and my sweet friend gave me a couple of pair as well. I went shopping at a local thrift store and it was so nice to have a huge section I could shop in instead of being limited to 5-6 racks. I'm so excited for when I'm even thinner and have more variety because there are more clothes in the smaller sizes! I don't want to buy a completely new wardrobe yet. Maybe I can borrow a wardrobe, after all, it's only temporary! lol

Something else that I'm excited about is that one of my walking partners may be able to go walking with me again, so I won't be alone! I'm going to continue whether or not she can walk/run with me, but it's so nice to talk to someone. I also really can't wait for the snow to be gone so I can do it outside with the birds chirping and the sun rising! It'll be not too long now! I may have to borrow a neighbor's dog if I'm by myself, and that would ensure I'd be running more!

Awake!

2009-03-17T10:28:00.000-06:00

“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.”
Henry David Thoreau

Are you awake? Do you find joy in every day, moment? Do you truly know who you are? Do you find joy in your gifts, talents, and blessings given to you by a loving Heavenly Father? If not, the first step is to pray and then listen for the answers. You can be the powerful force for good that you know you can and want to be. God will help you in this quest that you were born to do. Rise higher to meet your true potential and be awake and meet the dawn!

Down 18!

2009-03-05T14:13:00.003-07:00

Weigh-in at 11am this morning: 193.4! I haven't been doing much physically recently. With a household of ill family members, and a lost walking partner I haven't set my exercise as a priority. I'm changing that this week though! I hope to see more progress with increased physical activity.

I just had to share...

2009-03-04T11:18:00.003-07:00

I was at my friend's house trying on dress clothes for a dinner I'm going to on Friday night. (None of my dress clothes fit me!) She had so many things to try on, but what I was most ecstatic about was that two of the dresses I tried on were size 16! I even looked good in them, too. It wasn't a tight fit like I thought they would be. Yessss!

They zipped up!

2009-02-24T10:29:00.007-07:00

EEEEEK! I could hardly believe it! I tried on size 18w jeans and they fit perfectly! I haven't been size 18 pants, let alone jeans, in over 10 years. I went shopping for a few necessities last night while the kids were in bed. I rarely have the chance to try on clothes because the kids are always with me. I jumped at the chance in my kid-less state. Normally I dread trying on clothes because I was always frustrated that they were so big or looked unflattering on me. I decided to try on two sizes: 20w and 18w. I knew the size 20 pair would fit, so I put them on first. I was pleasantly surprised that I still had plenty of extra space around the waist. I got a bit more excited to try on the 18's, but I still didn't think they'd fit well. As I slipped them on, I realized that my undergarments (which are also way too big) were a bit bulky. I pulled the pants up and easily buttoned and zipped up the pants even with the extra bulk. I tried not to scream in the middle of the store. I called my husband to tell him because I couldn't contain it! I walked on cloud nine all through the store. Nothing bothered me the rest of the night. It's the little things that can really help us stay positive and keep going.

I didn't realize that I could go down 2 pants sizes by losing 15-20 pounds. I've lost 15 pounds since December (it could be more but my family's been ill the last week and a half), but I've lost 25 pounds since April of 2007 (when I found out I was pregnant with #5). I wonder why I took so long to choose this path...

I'm so happy and grateful that my Heavenly Father has blessed me so abundantly. He's my rock and guide. He hasn't ever left me alone, and He's always there to keep me going. I know I cannot do it without Him--believe me, I've tried!

If you ever feel like giving up, rely on His strength and guidance to get you through and He will be there--you just have to let Him in.

196!

2009-02-16T18:52:00.004-07:00

I saw 196.4 this morning!!! Woohoo!!! That means I'm down 15 pounds since December! The odd thing is that Aunt Flo has been visiting and I haven't been walking the last 4 mornings or really exercising either due to ill children. You'd think my numbers would be going up or at least staying the same. I was hoping just to maintain what I was at, but instead I dropped several pounds instead! Wow! I know it won't stay that way if I don't put the effort into it, but I am so grateful for the Lord's help even while I've been taking care of my family.

I know I promised a post about the importance of having vision, and I really want to get to it. I'm happy to post a short update for now. :D

Never give up!

2009-01-19T12:45:00.006-07:00

It seems obstacles will always get in the way of the path to better health (or better anything for that matter), but it only really gets in the way if I let them. I really can't complain about my obstacles. Recently, I've only had a head cold (I may just be detoxing), another tooth infection, exhaustion, and a jammed pinkie toe. I have several close friends who have bigger obstacles like kidney stones, gallbladder attacks, stomach cramps, pregnancy, and knee problems (okay I have this one, but a brace works for me). I cannot complain at all! I could be experiencing much worse things.

What is absolutely awesome is that despite the challenges among my close friends, they keep on going! Think: "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We Swim! Swim!" (I love Finding Nemo!) They're not giving up their goals of losing weight and feeling great. They know that the way they felt before they began this journey was not the way they want to continue to feel. Instead of helplessness and hopelessness, they now feel empowered and hope-full! I feel the same way. Just as they are pressing forward and stepping up to the challenges, so am I! I've never been as determined as I am right now to get healthy. I'm happy with who I am in this moment, knowing that there's always room for improvement. I love myself now, and I am finally willing to do what it takes to keep it that way. That takes work!

Everything is relative. It is a natural law. All our experiences and circumstances "just are." They are only positive or negative if we label them that way. I'm doing my best to respond to potential negative things with trying to find the positive in them. I'm not quite sure what the positive aspect of my obstacles are yet, but I know that something good will come of them because that's also a natural law (polarity). As bad as they may seem, there's that much good in them too.

The growing process takes time and energy. There are always going to be challenges and obstacles. Never give up! It'll be worth it in the end!

* My next post: The Importance of Vision *

What do you do for accountability and exercise?

2009-01-16T16:27:00.003-07:00

I personally like to be outside when I exercise, so doing anything confining indoors has made it difficult for me to stick to something during the cold season--which, of course, is when I need it most! In trying to solve my dilemma of how to exercise without wanting to quit, I decided to go walking at 6:00am while my little ones were still asleep and my hubby (who doesn't mind working out inside) uses the elliptical. I enticed my friend Ginger to come with me as an accountability partner as well as someone to talk to because she's my friend. :) I'm training for a 5K, so I'm walking/running for my exercise. In the Spring, I plan to do it outside on the track of the local high school. I'm taking it one day at a time.

Having Ginger rely on me to help get her to the church gym where we're walking helps keep me motivated to get up, even on the mornings that I can barely pry my eyes open at 5:30am. If it was my husband I was relying on for accountability, I think I'd fail because he loves me and doesn't want me mad at him when I try to justify wanting to sleep more. (He knows me well!) He won't push me like I push myself when others outside of my family count on me to help them. Something else that helps me immensely is having a vision for myself. (That's a future post altogether though.)

Another accountability device for me is thatI've also joined a weightloss support group made up of my best friends. We meet weekly, have a lesson based on this program, report on our successes, and problem solve for our struggles. It's been extremely helpful to me. It helps keep me going and I know that if I falter, that my friends are there to help inspire me to pick myself up, brush myself off, and push myself back on track again. I highly recommend having a weightloss support group of any kind. It doesn't have to cost money, although for some people that is helpful motivation. For me, it's taken a mind-shift to really open my eyes to the core of my issues and get back to my ultimate goals of drawing closer to the Savior and relying on His help to change me so I can help others change themselves. It takes a mind-shift for anyone to succeed. We have to change ourselves inside to really change our physical realities. If you want a deep, thought provoking explanation to why you've been in bondage to (fill in the blank) , here's an awesome video that explains it really well. I haven't been the same since I watched it. Do it! It'll be worth your time, I promise!

2009-01-16T16:10:00.004-07:00

This week I've had Aunt Flo visiting (she tends to sabotage my #'s, so I'm not focusing on them). I've also had a head cold the last couple of days. I've still been walking in the early morning, but I haven't attempted to run because I can tell my body is saying, "Back off while you're sick!" Even though I went to bed early last night, I'm still so exhausted. I had a rough night a couple of nights ago (2 kids up several times...one puking), and I thought I was just making up for the sleep I missed then. That's not the case, as my head told me this morning...sniff, sniff. I'm also dealing with another tooth infection, but this time I caught it early and it's not bothering me like it normally does. So, that being said, I'm taking it easy this weekend to recover from my cold and going full on next week with running again. I'm not letting illness stop me from getting to my goal!

On a happier note, I have been loving the Spring-like weather that my state has been experiencing. I love the sunshine, even though it's still in the 40's. My kids go outside more, and I can enjoy the feeling that comes with Spring even though I know it's not for a few months. It's a nice reprieve from the overcast gloomy storms we've had this winter. It makes me excited for warmer weather so I can exercise outside in the early morning sunshine. There's just something about the early morning light that is invigorating and refreshing!

My deepest fear

2009-01-13T22:23:00.006-07:00

"[My] deepest fear is not that [I] am inadequate. [My] deepest fear is that [I am] powerful beyond measure. It is [my] light, not [my] darkness that most frightens [me]. [I] ask [myself], Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who [am I] not to be? [I am] a child of God. [My] playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around [me]. [I am] meant to shine, as children do. [I was] born to make manifest the glory of God that is within [me]. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as [I] let [my] own light shine, [I] unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As [I am] liberated from [my] own fear, [my] presence automatically liberates others."

My adaptation of a quote by Marianne Williamson (see reference below).

So what's your greatest fear?

Original Quote Reference:
Our Deepest Fear Poem by Marianne Williamson

Williamson, Marianne. A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles".
Harper Paperbacks, 1996, pp190-191.

No pain...

2009-01-10T16:12:00.002-07:00

...no gain? No kidding! It's been so long since I've really even walked a lot, especially fast and for a long period of time. I've been walking almost all week, and my thighs are so sore. I have a blister on the side of the callous on the ball of my foot. Walking up or down my stairs is painful, but I know it's worth it! I'm going to push through this and I know it'll get better.

Thursday morning, I went walking in the gym of my church building. It's so nice not to be out in the freezing cold! I went by myself this time because Ginger had a rough night with her little one. I actually did the walking for 6 minutes and running for 1 minute, four times. I haven't run since High School (PE only...I was never athletic even then). So needless to say it was a tough thing for me, but I did it! Ginger and I went walking Friday and today, although today we had to walk the halls because it was Saturday and a group of men came at 6:30 to play basketball. Go figure. :D

I look forward to when this pain in my thighs and foot is no longer there. I know only working through it will build my muscles and help me to adjust to actually exercising. My husband told me the other night that he's proud of me for getting up each morning and exercising despite not getting enough sleep sometimes. I have to say, that I'm proud of myself too. I've needed to take better care of the body of my spirit and mother of my children, and that's just what I'm doing! I'm being true to the person that God made me to be!

Walking

2009-01-03T07:43:00.003-07:00

I've been trying to find a way to exercise, especially early in the morning. I really don't enjoy exercising at home, partially because it disturbs my family in the morning, but also because I hate being watched. My friends from playgroup (Emily, Tamra, Julia, and Ginger) have been talking about doing the Race for the Cure this coming May. The thought of doing it frightens and yet excites me at the same time. If I would just decide to do it and train for it, I'll be in a much better position physically than I am now. I'll be gaining muscle and losing weight faster than I currently am. That thought is what motivates me as well as what I can do with my life and family just by feeling better physically. I can better live my soul purpose because I'll be so much more productive and have the energy required to take care of my family and serve others in the capacity that I feel I should. So, I'm going to do it!

Yesterday I decided I was going to go walking in the wee hours of the morning, rain or shine, snow or not. I like to walk, but not in a stationary place. I didn't want to go by myself, so I enlisted Ginger to come with me. Last night it was raining and then snowing. I was wondering if it would be possible to drive just to pick her up, let alone drive to the Jr. High to walk. I kept telling myself, "the roads are clear, and we're going no matter what!" I got up at 5:30 this morning and nursed my baby back to sleep so I could leave without him crying about wanting to nurse while I was gone. My sweet husband helped me get up and laid back down near the baby. I had laid out all the stuff I needed last night, so I was able to quickly get dressed, although putting on two ankle braces and a knee brace took more time than all my other clothes did.

The roads weren't as bad as they normally are after a big snow storm, or maybe I was just in a good mood and didn't mind them. :) I picked Ginger up a little after 6:00am, and we drove over to the Jr. High School. We couldn't find the track, although we think we found it around the field area...which was very dark. We decided to trudge through the snow around the school instead. We ended up walking through our tracks twice. That saved my hip from hurting more than it did. It was hurting by the second time around, but I kept walking through it. The weather was so cold, and my nose was freezing. My hands finally warmed up about halfway through our walking, and my nose did too...until we got to the north side of the building where it was windy and dark. It's interesting how those conditions made me almost want to give up and go home. I knew if I did, I wouldn't be back again. God helped me through it all, and talking with Ginger helped to keep me focused on something other than my discomfort. We finished our third time around the school. I took us 45 minutes. I felt good about our efforts and to know we did it despite the conditions.

We're going to go on Monday at the same time. I'm praying for better conditions, but we're also trying a high school track near us instead. It's more likely to be lit, and easier to walk on. I think I'm going to get used to walking this next week, and then start on running a bit using this program. I'll also be using this program when I'm ready for it in a couple of months.

I didn't think I'd be so awake this morning. I thought I'd be exhausted, but I've been so excited to walk that I had no trouble getting up. I'm still pretty awake. I've got an early start on the day, and I'm happy to be getting the physical part of my Producer Power Hour done. Now, for a healthy breakfast and more Producer Power Hour stuff...scripture reading, gratitude journal writing, Soul Purpose narrowing, and book reading. I think I'm also going to have my husband to a picture of me for my "before" picture. I'm excited and can't wait for the "after" one!

Tender Mercies

2008-12-11T15:44:00.006-07:00

Why is it that I have so many beginnings, you might ask? Well, I'd rather keep beginning than give up altogether. :) Actually, it takes time to change the heart and mind. That's what I've been doing and continue to do. Admitting to myself that I no longer can do this all on my own is a huge beginning step, and one that seemed to have been alluding me. Pride gets in the way. The perfectionist in me seems to make me quite stubborn to admitting my troubles and issues. I totally admit I have had a problem relationship with food. I am addicted to sugar and bad for me foods. I also love healthy food, although when given the choice, I give in to the unhealthy ones.

I'm working with several of my friends to gain our health back. We've all decided that we cannot do it on own our own and we've chosen to use the 12-step program for addictions put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's been the only program I feel so good about and have stuck to. I'm supplementing with other things as I seek truth in other areas of my life as well, but it all comes down to drawing closer to the Lord.

One of my big goals is to draw closer to my Savior, Jesus Christ, and He will help me overcome this addiction I have with eating. Only He can give me the strength I need to accomplish my goal of having a healthy body. One step I know I need to take is to avoid sugar. It may seem extreme, but it needs to be done for me to not slip back (others may not need this step). I've been off of sugar for several days and I have a much easier time resisting it the longer I'm not eating it. When I desire chocolate or sweets, I pray for the strength to stick to my decision of not eating it and I'm always granted my petition. It's been amazing to see and feel the difference already.

I weighed myself last Tuesday and I was 211. Saturday I was 208, and then this morning I was 205.6. I haven't been this close to being below 200 since Dh and I were first married. I've been maintaining 210-216 for the past several years (pregnancy not included). I maintained around 212 for most of my teenage life, but I was in better shape then (forced PE will do that). I went off to college in 1995 and moved back home after the first year. The fall of 1996 my mom convinced me that maybe redux was the only way I could kick the weight. I felt okay with it, and knew she had my best interest at heart. After talking to my doctor about it, I went on redux. I never took it as recommended, although I took less than was prescribed, not more. It worked (or maybe it was all in my mind and the fact that I was a runner at a law firm and was on my feet a lot). I think I made it down to 175 or so when I met my Dh at institute. We married and I went off of redux because we didn't have the funds to pay for it. I also took birth control pills (of which I regret, but not because I gained weight on them). Gradually I got back up to 212 again, and my new sit-down job didn't help my activity level. We conceived Ella in 1999, and I've pretty much stayed between 210-220 ever since. This 205 is an awesome number to see! I was actually pretty surprised and elated! I know this is not from my sheer willpower, but because the Lord is helping me heal from these chains I've been in most of my life. I am so happy and grateful for His tender mercies towards me, and as always, I am indebted to Him.

New beginnings

2008-09-02T12:14:00.007-06:00

So I've stayed around the same weight (between 212 and 216) for several months. I give in to cravings more often than I have in the past, but I'm striving harder to avoid sugar (my major downfall). My beginning weight (how nice to have a new beginning again) was taken at 12:10pm today with clothes on and a cell phone in my pocket. Not bad, if you ask me. I weighed more naked last week. :P

Beginning Weight: 212.4 (09/02/2008)

As a side note, by now 8 month old is about 20 pounds now. Wow! He's a tank and wears me out just carrying him, but it's good for my arms, right!?!

Postpartum 2008

2008-01-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

So I found out I was pregnant in April/May of 2007 and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on December 30th. Well, now that I'm no longer pregnant (I only gained about 20 pounds the whole pregnancy and he was a whopping 9.5 pounds of it), I can get back into getting into shape again. He's still only 2.5 weeks old, so I'm still taking it easy. I don't plan on doing much more than trying to watch what I eat though. I may not post much about my weight loss because I don't want it literally weighing me down, so I'll be beginning anew with:

"I am happy and grateful now that I am fit and have lots of energy. I feel and look great in my clothes. I spend time running and playing with my family inside and outside. We enjoy spending time walking and doing other active pursuits. I am happy and grateful that I enjoy yummy fresh fruits and vegetables daily and choose other healthy foods to eat. I love my body and know that I am beautiful because Heavenly Father made me, and I am his child."

Beginning: 221 (04/03/2007)
Last week: 215
This week: 212 (01/16/2008)

Not bad...I've lost 3 since last week, and 6 since the baby was born. I was 239 before he was born, so if you include all that too, I've lost a total of 27 since the end of my pregnancy. :)
I may occasionally post an update on numbers, but only so I can see progress once in a while.

04/20 Journal

2007-04-20T16:38:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Friday, April 20, 2007

Breakfast: 1 med. banana; 1/6 Cantaloupe; 4 Strawberries

Snack: 1 oz. Almonds

Lunch: 1 oz. Corn Chips; Salsa, 1/3 Avocado; 1 WW sucanat chocolate chip cookie; taste of bazmati rice that I fed to my kids for lunch

Snack: 1 med. Banana

Dinner: 3 Taquitos; large Taco Salad: greens, cukes, green onions, salsa, refried beans, taco meat, avocado, ranch; 1 fajita: chicken, onions, and a multigrain tortilla (I can't stand peppers, so I picked them out)

Exercise today: Back exercises; Walking around the house doing some housework

Water (in cups): 7

Vitamins taken: none

Servings (approx.):
------------------------------------
Fruit: 3 1/2
Veggies: 4
Protein: 2-3
Carbs: 7-8
Fats: 4
------------------------------------

Feelings: I've felt more hungry today because I haven't eaten much, but I haven't felt like gorging myself on anything sweet either. Even having that WW sucanat cookie didn't make me want to scarf down more. I'm a little tired of little variety to my diet, but I think it's just because I haven't planned out what I'm going to eat. It makes a huge difference when I do plan my meals and snacks out. The balancing of everything is my hangup. I have a rough time eating the same things all the time, but I'm such a picky veggie eater, so eating a variety of veggies is hard for me. I love fruit though. I'm sure the natural sugars in them make a big difference in my desire to eat them versus my small desire to eat veggies.

We had friends over for dinner and games while my mom watched my kids. It was so nice to have quiet conversation in our home. We had dinner here and enjoyed talking and getting to know each other better. We didn't even get to the games. I ate a bit more than I should have in the carb and fat arena, but I did at least choose a large salad for dinner. :)

04/19 Journal

2007-04-20T14:31:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Thursday, April 19, 2007

Breakfast: 1 med. Banana; 6 Strawberries, 1/4 Cantaloupe; 1 slice of WW Toast w/butter; and 1 fried Egg with Ketchup

Snack: None

Lunch: Broccoli (2 serv.) with salt; 2 slices of WW Bread with Adam's brand Chunky Peanut Butter; Green Grapes; 4-5 Baby Carrots

Snack: None

Dinner: 1 lrg. Plum; med. Green Salad with Cucumbers and Ranch; Potatoes with Ketchup; 2 pcs. WW French Toast with Maple Syrup

Exercise today: I walked around the house chasing after kids and also took my friend's children to another friend's home and then my family and I walked back to our home.

Water (in cups): 6 (need to up the intake, I know!)

Vitamins taken: None (need to change that!)

Servings (approx.)
------------------------------------
Fruit: 5
Veggies: 5 1/2
Protein: 3
Carbs: 8
Fats: 5

Feelings: I felt exhausted this evening before I ate dinner. I had watched several friends' children today. I wasn't constantly running around, but I sure got some exercise. I also walked my 4 children and my friend's 4 children to another friend's house then walked home. I was really tired when I got back. I hope it's just iron, but I suspect it's either because my body is preparing for a visit from a certain aunt, or I'm possibly pregnant. I'm not sure yet, but I'll find out in the next week or so.

04/18/ Journal

2007-04-18T12:59:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Breakfast: 1 large Pear; 1 large Banana; 1 slice WW toast w/butter

Snack: 1/2 bottle of Nouriche yogurt smoothie (Ugh! It had sugar in it, but I didn't thinking about that!)

Lunch: 2 serv. Asparagus w/salt and butter; Properly combined sandwich: 2 slices WW Toast, 1 tsp. Mayo; 1/2 Avocado; 2 Cucumber slices (flat slices); Romaine lettuce

Snack: 1 lrg. Plum; 9 Baby Carrots ( 1 serv.)

Dinner: We went to Sizzler for a date night. I had a Green Salad (plate-full) with Cucumbers, Kidney Beans, shredded Carrots, Romaine Lettuce, Spinach, shredded Purple Cabbage, and Light Ranch; Purple Grapes; Pineapple; Honeydew; Cantaloupe; Watermelon; Strawberries;3-4 bites of Steak; 3/4 piece, a very flat piece, of grilled Lemon Chicken dipped in a little Teriyaki Sauce

Exercise today: Walking around the house and the store where I bought my 4 new Rhode Island Red chicks today.

Water (in cups): 9

Servings (approx.)
------------------------------------
Fruit: 6
Veggies: 7
Protein: 3
Carbs: 6
Fats: 3

Feelings:
I still felt tired today, but I wasn't really tempted by anything I shouldn't have. The Texas Cheese Toast at Sizzler didn't really appeal at all to me. I ate more than I really should have, but at least it was fruit and salad versus the other junk I could have been eating. I had a wonderful meal and shopping trip with my husband though. It was nice having a break from the kids.

04/17 Journal

2007-04-17T21:58:00.000-06:00

Beginning Weight: 221 (04/03/2007)
Last week's weight: 218.6
This week's weight: 215.6

Food Journal for Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs w/salt; 2 slices WW toast (homemade bread); Purple Grapes

Snack: None

Lunch: 1/2 Avocado w/salt; Asparagus w/salt and butter; 1/4 PB & honey sandwich on WW; 1 slice WW toast

Snack: Purple Grapes; 33 g Nuts (hazelnuts, almonds, brazil nuts)

Dinner: small bowl of Hawaiian Haystacks (basmati rice, cheese, chicken in white sauce (non-dairy), a few chinese noodles, cucumber chunks, pineapple chunks, raisins, craisins; med. Green salad with cucumbers and ranch

Exercise: Back exercises (morning); Walk around neighborhood (morning)

Feelings: I woke up pretty tired today. I just couldn't sleep comfortably and therefore didn't sleep very well. I was tired through most of the day. I think it's probably because I need to eat more good stuff. I didn't really feel like doing much until tonight when I had a cleaning spree throughout the house. It was mainly picking up all the toys and such around the house, but I'm such a perfectionist I was constantly going back and forth putting things away here and there. I had to fight an impulse to eat little bites of rice after it was cooked. I've been so good, but I realized it too late once when I picked some up in my fingers when I didn't need it. It helps me to be more conscious of what I do though.

I'm going to change my posts a little. I need to add my water goals; what vitamins I take; and the serving amounts of fruits, veggies, protein, fats, and carbs. Hopefully I'll be able to at least get the water, fruits, and veggies tracked. I finally remembered to take my prenatal vitamins right after dinner. When I remember to take them it's usually at bedtime after my food has been digesting for a while, and I don't want to get an upset stomach.

04/16 Journal

2007-04-16T21:45:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Monday, April 16, 2007

Breakfast: 1 med. Banana; handful of purple grapes; 1 oz. Almonds

Snack: 1 lrg. Plum

Lunch: Tuna fish (w/pickles) sandwich on 2 slices of WW Bread; baby carrots; 1 lrg. Pear (around 11:30 am)

Snack: 2 1/2 slices homemade WW Bread (the sweetener was honey)-I was craving more, but I'm not sure if it was because I ate so much already or if I was just hungry. It was a late snack (around 4pm).

Dinner: Green salad (same ingredients as last night's salad) w/ranch; potatoes, cubed, Asparagus; a few bites of lean hamburger (I made meat sauce for spaghetti that I didn't eat)

FHE "Treat": 2 more slices WW bread with a little homemade strawberry jam

Exercise: Back exercises; playing a bit with the kids at the park; going up and down the stairs for laundry and food from the storage room

Feelings: Today I've been exhausted. I'm quite sure why other than I didn't sleep well last night. I had trouble getting to sleep despite going to bed earlier than normal. I'm going to try and walk tomorrow morning after breakfast to help get me going. I've craved more bread today, but it may partially be because I made my own bread today in my new mixer. It was so yummy, and the loaves were the best one's I've made yet. I used a friend's recipe, and it turned out so yummy. The WW bread I've made before, I've made by hand and always put too much flour in it. It was always dry and crumbly. The loaves I made today were moist and rose well. The dough was a lot stickier and harder to form into loaves, but they were much better than any other loaf I've made.

04/15 Journal

2007-04-15T21:30:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Sunday, April 15, 2007

Dinner: 3 deviled eggs, Large green salad: iceberg lettuce mix, romaine lettuce, pieces of broccoli, chopped purple onion, pieces of cucumber, baked chicken, and ranch (this one is hard to give up because I haven't found a vinaigrette that I like).

Exercise today: I didn't get to walk to church, but I did walk home with my older girls. Then I walked back and forth from choir practice a couple streets away from me. I didn't feel really tired after walking either, despite fasting. I was amazed and VERY happy about that! By the end of the day I was quite tired though. I'm sure it was the fasting catching up to me, or maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived! :D

Feelings: The only food I ate yesterday was dinner. I fasted yesterday since last week dh and I were getting over an illness and were still weak and tired. This fast was the easiest one I've done, ever! I was really wanting cold water by the end, but I was okay otherwise. Yeah, my tummy growled once in a while, but I wasn't dying to eat. I even made thumb-print cookies, while fasting, for a fireside at the church. (I made them in my new Bosch mixer-they were the easiest, quickest batch of cookies I've made!) Not once did I taste or eat any of it. Normally I'm really tempted to try it or impulsively eat a piece of dough, but not at all yesterday. I've been shocked at my having no desire to eat the junk food. I didn't even have a cookie after the fireside. It felt REALLY good! I didn't have to fight a craving for sugar at all. They had no appeal to me other than from memories of them tasting good. Those memories I can resist though. I don't feel deprived, but instead I feel very empowered!

I do have to mention (because I thought it was funny), that my 5yo, Aurora, took a piece of foil that had been covering the cookies on the table at the fireside and grabbed some cookies. I hadn't noticed her and her cookies because I was listening to Sister Jacobsen from the Humanitarian Center tell us about the different items she had on display there. So when I did notice Aurora, I couldn't believe my eyes! She was holding this piece of foil in her hands and socializing with friends while trying to eat 11 cookies! Yes 11! They weren't small cookies either. I told her she could have a couple, but not that many. I just couldn't believe it. Next time I will go to the table with her. The Bishop even joked that I didn't feed my daughter. LOL

04/14 Journal

2007-04-14T21:53:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Saturday, April 14, 2007

Breakfast: Grapes (2 or 4); Smoothie made from: cantaloupe, honeydew, strawberries, a banana, and 100% apple kiwi juice (1 1/2 c.); 1 fried egg in a little butter with salt and a little ketchup (I can't seem to eat eggs without ketchup yet.)

Snack: None, we went the temple during snack-time.

Lunch: We went to eat at Chuck-o-Rama I ate a plate full of salad: spinach, romaine lettuce, green leaf lettuce, sunflower seeds, kidney beans, parmesan cheese, shredded carrots, bean sprouts, shredded radishes, chopped purple onions, and light ranch; 1/4 large dill pickle; 1 strawberry; 3 med. pieces honeydew melon; 2 med. pieces pineapple; 2 purple grapes; piece of spaghetti squash with salt; small baked chicken breast; and a couple bites of a 1/2 WW 1/2 White flour dinner roll.

Snack: None, we were shopping after lunch for a Bosch mixer (which we bought!) and I forgot to take a snack with me.

Dinner: 1 oz. Almonds; 4-5 Strawberries; 1 fried egg in no butter; 2 pieces WW French Toast with the strawberry syrup I made with strawberry juice and maple syrup.

Exercise: The only exercise I got today was walking to and from the conference center parking lot and the temple, to and from our parking space and Chuck-o-Rama, and walking around ShopKo when I bought diapers for the little ones and clothes for my 5 yo.

Feelings: Today I didn't start out my day very well. I think having dh home throws it off because I don't have the time to myself in the morning to think like I usually do. Instead we talk to each other and then get up at the same time. Normally I would do my back exercises at least, but that didn't happen today because I needed to get myself and everyone else ready so we could go to the temple. I'm going to try walking to church tomorrow and to choir practice after lunch.

I've had more cravings today. I didn't make a very balanced menu today. I'm sure that didn't help. I haven't eaten anything I shouldn't except those 3 or 4 bites of that roll, but I have been tempted, especially tonight. I'm not feeling weak though, in fact, I feel pretty strong. I'm just glad the only craving I've had is for popcorn. lol That roll was sweeter than I expected, and I wonder if that little bit of sugar threw me off. I don't know, but I'm really glad I'm not giving in to or having really strong cravings for sweets. Deep down, I have no desire to eat them, and it's been coming to the surface the last several days.

Oh, I do have to say that I'm VERY excited to have a Bosch mixer. I REALLY want to make our own WW bread. It'll be healthier, and I can control what goes into it. Our next purchase will be a grain mill or grinder so the bread can be made with freshly ground wheat which has much more nutrients and makes a better loaf. We want an electric grinder that also can be a hand-crank one for emergencies.

04/13 Journal

2007-04-13T18:59:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Friday, April 13, 2007

Breakfast: 2 pieces WW French toast with Strawberry Syup*; 4 large strawberries; 1 egg fried in 1 tsp. butter and dipped in small amount of ketchup; 7 green grapes
*syrup made of strawberry drippings, maple syrup, and lemon juice

Snack: None, I went to the store and forgot one.

Lunch: Properly combined sandwich-2 pieces WW bread, toasted; 1 tbsp. Mayo; cucumber slices; 1/2 avocado, sliced; romaine lettuce leaf
Bite of a plum
2 servings Asparagus, boiled and served with 1/2 tsp. butter and some Real salt
1/4 c 100% Pineapple Juice

Snack: 1 large Plum; 1 oz. Raw Almonds (29); 1 med Banana

Dinner: 1/2 bbq Chicken breast, baked; Cauliflower, steamed; Potatoes, cubed w/Butter, Garlic Real Salt, and Italian seasoning; 1/2 slice WW Toast

Exercise: Back exercises (morning); 30 min. walk around our hilly neighborhood pulling 2 toddlers in the wagon (before dinner).

Feelings: This morning I felt full until lunch time. I took the kids to Costco and picked up some yummy produce and what I thought was a good loaf or two of bread. The bread turns out to have some sugar in it. Ugh! I saw the molasses, but not sugar. I should have known! I'm going to have to pay more for the bread that I really want. I'm always worried about the kids' health as well and their eating the not so healthy bread, although we switched to whole wheat bread years ago. I still don't want preservatives and sugar in it. So, when I get me mixer (hopefully soon!) I'll be making homemade bread. I need to experiment with a good recipe first though since I can't seem to be able to make a good sandwich loaf. Maybe I just need one of those bread cutters for that though.

I've been working on trying to prepare the lesson for the Young Single Adults in my ward (I'm their new Sunday School teacher), and I'm nervous about it. I haven't reverted to eating chocolate or something else very unhealthy for me, so I feel good otherwise. I know I'm not doing this alone. Heavenly Father is helping or I wouldn't have been doing this for 3 days already. My friend, Emily, is also my "buddy" in my getting healthy endeavour, which is helping a lot already! She began last week and has already dropped 10 pounds. Way to go, Em!

Tonight after dinner, I felt over full. I know I ate too much quantity-wise. I don't feel I chose an unhealthy dinner, but I did choose to eat too much. Other than that, I'm fine.

One last thing, I'm making dinner before 6:30 and trying not to eat after dinner. I can drink all I want, but I know my body needs time to digest and process my food and that it will help my also with my weight. Simple things can help immensely. :)

04/12 Journal

2007-04-12T22:00:00.000-06:00

Food Journal for Thursday, April 12, 2007

Breakfast/Snack (I ate it throughout the morning):
2 small Bananas
6 large Strawberries
a handful of Green Grapes

Lunch: Tuna fish and pickle sandwich on multi-grain bread made with whole wheat. I also had a couple bites of salad with a homemade vinaigrette, but it was nasty. I'll have to keep experimenting on the salad dressings. I'll stick to a little ranch on my salad for now. It's been the only way I'll eat it.

Snack: 1 oz. Raw Almonds (29 almonds); 3 oz. Baby Carrots (1 serving = 3 oz. or 9 carrots)

Dinner: Taco salad; Green salad, tortilla chips, ff refried beans, cucumbers, taco meat, green onions, cheese, salsa, and ranch. I tried to only put a small amount of cheese and ranch. The taco meat was drained and washed before putting the seasoning on which cuts down on the fat. Although, I do have to say the hamburger we have (from a half cow we bought) is quite lean already.

Exercise: Back exercises (morning); Went on a 20 minute walk with the kids around our neighborhood;

Feelings: Today I felt tempted to eat some of the cadbury mini eggs that were on the top of my fridge, but I didn't do it! I was craving popcorn (unbuttered, but with a little salt and the oil from popping it). I didn't give in though and just drank water when I really felt that I needed to put something in my mouth. :)

I'm feeling good today, although I have felt like I should increase my activity. I don't feel deprived. The only apprehension I have is what to fix everyone else for dinner or lunch because I know they won't eat what I do. At least most of the time they won't. I'm trying to focus on my meals more than theirs, although I am working on giving them more fruit and veggies too.

I began reading The Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program and learning why it is that resisting sugar has been so hard for me. I know that it's my decision to eat it, but my body chemistry is also not helping me at all. I wouldn't have called myself an addict of something, but looking at it in a different way makes me realize I do act like an addict in many ways. Addiction isn't an easy thing to get through, but I'm glad that I have ideas to help me along my path to eating and feeling better. The first step recommends eating protein with breakfast. We'll see how it goes tomorrow morning.

March?

2007-04-12T09:06:00.000-06:00

So, I figure if I can lose 20#'s every three months (or less) I can be down to my goal weight by about next March. I'm not going to beat myself up if that doesn't happen, but I know I can do it if I work hard enough at it.

I would of course like to weight less than 150, but it's a much healthier weight than I'm at now. Since I've never been that skinny, I don't know if weighing less would be healthy for me. I'll have to see when I get there.

It's totally possible that I'll be pregnant before achieving this goal, but I'm leaving that in the Lord's hands. He knows what's best for me, and perhaps being healthier is what's best right now. We've been leaving it up to Him since November (5 or so months) and so far He's taken care to not let me get pregnant yet. I know we're not done having children, but I need to make the most of the time I have to eat less and exercise more before I do have another baby. :)

I know I need to leave the past in the past and go with the future. I'm not mad at myself for wasting those 5 months I could have been working at losing weight. I've done that all my life, and I'm going to be better NOW! Looking back at my failure to do something isn't going to help me do it now, so from now on, I am strong and I can do it!

04/11 Journal

2007-04-12T08:55:00.000-06:00

My exercise yesterday consisted of back exercises* in the morning, going up and down the stairs several times, making jam (walking all over the kitchen and house), and going for a walk to the elementary school near my home to play with the kids last night. I originally set out to go walking around the neighborhood, but the kids wanted to play and dh wanted to help Ella ride her bike without the training wheels. (Our street isn't flat so that's why we went to the school.)

I'm hoping to pick up the walking pace a little. I really want to go walking with friends in my neighborhood at 6am, but I'd die walking at their pace. I'm going to just get started with the kids going with me and work up to being able to walk in the early mornings. I will to stick to it! I know I need to and I deserve to be healthy too!

Oh, and the only sweet things I ate yesterday was low-sugar homemade strawberry jam on whole wheat toast. Not bad considering I made the jam yesterday as well. I did need to taste the jam after I added some sugar to make sure it was sweet enough. Other than that though, I didn't have any treats. :D

* Back exercises consist of me lying on my back with knees in the air, loosening up my back my swaying my knees from side to side 10-20 times, then doing 3 sets of 10 each: pelvic tilts, crunches, and bridges.

Getting back on track!

2007-04-11T22:47:00.000-06:00

I haven't been keeping track of my weight, nor really trying to reach my weight loss goals. I have no excuse that would be sufficient. It's all my own doing, and I know it. My friend has helped to inspire me to get to a healthier weight. She's already lost 8 pounds this week. I'm so proud of her! I need to set some new goals for myself, so here are a few:

* Plan my meals - I know this is one of the reasons for my weight gain and lack of healthier eating.
* Walk every day except Sunday
* Just be active in general, not lazy like I always am
* Drink lots of water
* Stick to it!
* Only weigh myself once per week
* Throw all the sugar away!!!
* Donate all the unhealthy stuff in our food storage
* Pray for help each day
* Say only positive things about myself! - This one's hard for me!

Oh, and I'll be resetting my beginning weight to 221. :( It makes me so sad that I was down to 210 before and have gained 10+ back. However, I'm not going to let it keep me down. I'm going to be persistent!

Beginning Weight: 214 (01/03/2006)
Last week's weight: 221.0 (04/03/2007)
This week's weight: 218.6 (04/11/2007)

Down 1#

2006-03-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

Beginning Weight: 214 (01/03/2006)
Last week's weight: 211
This week's weight: 210

Notes: Well, I'd been maintaining 211 for a while. I finally dropped one pound after making more of an effort to cut down on sweets and junk. From time to time I get in a funk that I can't get out of, but so far this week hasn't been bad. I'm working on getting more exercise too. So far it's just from chasing kids around, but hey, it's something!

Down 8 pounds!

2006-02-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

Beginning Weight: 214 (01/03/2006)
Last week's weight: 214
This week's weight: 206

Notes: I was quite sick yesterday with gastrointestinal issues. I didn't eat, and I only drank fruit juice and red raspberry leaf tea. It's not the best way to lose weight, but hopefully I'll be able to keep it off and make my weight go down more.

It's been a month, and nothing...

2006-02-15T00:04:00.000-07:00

Beginning Weight: 214 (01/03/2006)
Last week's weight: ---
This week's weight: 214

Notes: Okay, so it's been a month since posting, but hey, at least I'm staying around the same weight right??? j/k I know I'm slackin'. I need to get in gear. Dh and I have an agreement to encourage us to get in gear, so hopefully it'll work for the both of us. It's not a contest, but we both have something to help motivate us to lose.

Gained 3 pounds - Ack!

2006-01-17T21:42:00.000-07:00

Beginning Weight: 214 (01/03/2006)
Last week's weight: 212
This week's weight: 215

Notes: Okay, I've been falling back into my eat almost anything routine. I'm also not journaling my food intake, which has made a difference. This next week I'm going to try to walk everyday (I haven't been since last week), and keep up the food journal. I did pull my back this afternoon, so I REALLY need to lose weight to help keep my back healthy. Keeping up my back exercises will help immensely as well.

Dropped 2 pounds

2006-01-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Beginning Weight: 214 (01/03/2006)
Last week's weight: 214
This week's weight: 212

Notes: I've been eating better this week. I've been trying to address my emotional eating as well as keeping myself busy or distracted in order to avoid eating what I shouldn't.

Weight Loss Goals

2006-01-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

I finished the book Running with Angels by Pam Hansen. It was a very inspiring read. I'd been meaning to read it for months, but I haven't had the chance until Sunday. She was a very inspiring person, and her story helped me to want to better myself. I've had many things lead up to actually setting weight-loss goals for myself and this book was the final thing I needed to just do it!

I'm actually going to publish online, my weight! Ack! I think it's the only way to be accountable without having to pay someone. Anyway, so my weight this morning was...214. Ugh! I have so far to go, but I'm going to take it one pound at a time. Surprising to me is that I lost 6 pounds since Christmas. I don't understand how since I've been eating terribly, but hey, I'll take it! I'm sure adding exercise will help the loss as long as I keep it up and eat better. Nursing, I'm sure plays a factor as well, so I need to be careful and get the caloric needs met to keep producing milk.

So, onto my goals:
* I will pray for help daily.
* I will eat to live, not live to eat.
* I will find productive ways to deal with my trials and stresses instead of eating.
* I will weigh myself only once a week.
* I will take at least a 10 minute walk everyday.
* I will strive to eat more vegetables and fruits.
* I will limit my sweets GREATLY to once a day and strive for none.
* I will drink more water (luckily, it's about all I drink anyway).
* I will take time for myself each day.
* I will try hard to love my body the way it is and help to make it better, as God would want me to; after all, my body has done such amazing things for me, and I've abused it.
* I will try to be positive in my thoughts about myself.
* I will wait 15 minutes before eating anything I'm tempted to eat.
* I will find more productive activities to keep me busy and keep my thoughts away from eating for comfort.
* I will plan out meals.

That's all I can think of for now. I'll try and update each week as a minimum, but preferably daily.